


Not as Think as You Drunk I Am

by snarkstark



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dorks in Love, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Mom Steve, Stony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 18:51:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9780452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkstark/pseuds/snarkstark
Summary: It wasn't that Steve liked seeing Tony drunk. In fact, it was the complete opposite. He despised it. But there were the little things like carrying the genius upstairs, listening to his drunken ramblings and tucking him in, that he might have been a little bit over invested in.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Small trigger warnings for alcoholism and Tony hating himself a lil'.
> 
> I intended this to be a drabble but I couldn't stop so here's the shitty result, enjoy.

It wasn't that Steve liked seeing Tony drunk. In fact, it was the complete opposite. He despised it. But there were the little things like carrying the genius upstairs, listening to his drunken ramblings and tucking him in, that he might have been a little bit over invested in.

Tonight was one of those nights, Steve could tell. Tony was riding his weekly wave of self-destructive and there was nothing he could do to stop him - much to the soldier's dismay. He gave it a few hours, then headed down to the workshop to assess the damage. Stark was sprawled over his desk, a half empty bottle in one hand and enough deposited in a circle around him to let Steve know that his liver was no longer an enthusiastic participant in whatever hate fueled drinking game Tony was playing tonight. Genius was obviously far too strong a word. Guiltily, he loitered in the doorway and listened to his quietened cries and sniffles, repeated lines being mumbled out about how he wasn't good enough. It broke his heart to see Tony like this. 

Before the intoxicated man could notice him eavesdropping, he coughed loudly to announce his presence. "Steve..." The hero groaned, banging his head on the table. He was never particularly enthusiastic, but at least he didn't start yelling at him to fuck off like he did on extremely bad nights. "Tony." He replied gently, using his strength to pry the offending bottle out of the man's arms. (*The man that he was pathetically in love with's arms).   
"No!" Tony growled like a kicked puppy and made a snatch for the bottle, but he was too drunk and far, far too tired.   
"No more." 

As fast as a blink, the resistance melted from the inventor's body, causing him to slump back down with a pitiful whimper. "C'mon. Time for bed."   
"You're not my fucking Mother." Came the slurred response, brimming with sarcasm but laced with pain. Despite the curse, Tony did nothing to stop Steve scooping him up and holding him against his chest, ready to carry him upstairs. "One more?" He asked hopefully, glancing at the unfinished bottle. It was that fucking tone that made Steve feel unqualified for the job, because when Tony spoke to him like that, so hopeful and pleading that he was constantly terrified of giving in.   
"You've had enough." The Captain replied firmly.  
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am!" Tony replied defiantly, putting up a small struggle. Biting back a snort, Steve simply repositioned him slightly and closed the elevator door. 

Unfortunately, the blonde haired man had accidently discovered the absolute nightmare that it was to try and bathe Tony when he got into this state. One attempt had resulted in the genius kicking, screaming and crying, fighting with every intoxicated piece of strength he had to avoid the tub and flinging obscenities as well as any close object he could find at Steve until he quickly relented. Tony completely refused to let the Captain touch him again that night, flinching whenever he came near. Needless to say, he left early that night, spending all night with his head in his hands while Jarvis updated him on Tony's continued nightmares and panic attacks, double the frequency of usual. He'd never felt like such a monster. He'd never before seen Stark's eyes so full of pure terror; it was so much worse that it was directed at him. 

So, like most nights, Steve just pulled off Tony's clothes until he was in his boxers and socks, cursing the context as always, and deposited him on the bed as gently as possible. He left momentarily to get a damp cloth and clean up any oil stains from his work since that was the best he could do. Finally, he filled up a glass of water and placed some aspirin next to it for the genius when he woke up with a killer headache. 

This was when Steve allowed himself a brief moment of selfishness because he knew that Tony wouldn't remember it. He never did, in the morning. The soldier felt like the world's biggest ass hole for - for taking advantage of Tony while he was like this! But he couldn't help it. So he tucked the superhero into bed and brushed his hair out of eyes before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Tony, you have to stop." He pleaded in a whisper. His best friend's lower lip trembled, eyes wide and vulnerable.   
"I can't." His voice was so broken, begging for Steve to understand.   
"You can, Tony. You can do anything." The genius shook his head vehemently.   
"This is what I fucking deserve." He spat bitterly, and the Captain jerked back like he'd been stung.   
"No. No, it isn't. You're just being blind."

Steve watched as Tony's hardened eyes softened while he turned to his companion, one shaky hand reaching out to land clumsily on his cheek. "You're wrong... But you think you're right." Stark's brows creased as he tried to find the right words to convey something meaningful in his drunken stupor. "You always... Always say good things about me. I dunno..." He lost his train of thought, oblivious to the way Steve was holding his breath and hanging on to his every word. He raised an eyebrow as prompt to continue, but Tony simply shrugged. "That don't matter, but it's one'a the reason's I'm in love with you." He stated matter of factly. 

Tony should've punched him in the fucking face it would've hurt less. 

He knew that 'love' was the word that drunk Tony had found to express his platonic connection and gratitude since that was the most general term for any relation. But to hear the words he'd spent a year convincing himself he'd never hear from the other was a sharper blow than any insult Iron Man could dream of. Apparently, he just liked to suffer, because he said, "Yeah? Why else do you love me, Tony?" His voice was filled with a light curiosity that did a poor job of disguising the hurt. 

"Mm," Tony took a moment to collect his thoughts, "'Cause you always stay. Always, always, 'cept that time I was scared of you. Even though I don't deserve you, and I'm stupid when I drink, you always carry me to bed. I like it when you tuck me in 'n kiss me g'night. Sometimes when I'm sober I just lie here and think 'bout getting drunk so you'll come. The best part is when you say, 'I love you, idiot' before you go, 'n you think I can't hear but I do and it makes my heart feel all funny." He giggled like a schoolboy and Steve thought the sound should be preserved for all time. He'd probably get Jarvis to play it back later like the creep he was, this whole speech in fact. The blonde could barely think straight as it was, with him processing that Tony did, in fact, remember these nights and was also giving him a very slurred but very heartfelt love confession. 

"Fuck, I jus' - I jus' love you so much that when you get too close my tummy does backflips and my head just goes 'Steeb, Steeb, Steeb'." Tony exclaimed, his speech picking up passion as he went along, "'Cause you're too kind, you'd - you'd help ol' ladies cross the street 'n shit." Steve bit back his laugh and instead moved his hand to rest over Tony's. The genius practically groaned. "And, oh Steve, the boners." He complained, half glaring at him, but it was shadowed by so much fondness it was more of a stare. "When you touch me, when you walk around without no shirt - the fuck did your shirt go?" He whined, lacing his fingers with Steve's, "It's worse when we spar. Dunno how y'don't notice, ya big dummy."

Yeah, Steve didn't know how he didn't notice, because he'd have been more than willing to take care of that so-called "problem".

Tony blinked blearily, apparently exhausted now. "Don't get any ideas, I'm not asking for anything, 'm not stupid." He added petulantly, tugging the sheets over his head. "I know you don't want me like I want you, it's fine, it's fine." God, he sounded so resigned. "Still doesn't make it go away, so don't be mad, promise?" He poked his head back out hopefully.

Steve was almost glad he was finished, he was sure that one more word would cause his heart to actually implode. "I'd never be mad, I already told you I love you. Every night." He sighed, "I wish you weren't drunk." He muttered pitifully. "Can't kiss a drunk man, it doesn't count. I don't even know if you mean it, Goddamit. Oh Tony, if you do, you must know by now that I'm completely devoted to you?" He was practically imploring for the billionaire to realise how much Steve needed him. "I orbit around you." He murmured, pressing his face into Tony's chest to hide his teary eyes. 

He knew that the dark-haired man was way too tired then because he spoke in a very confused voice and asked, "Who's drunk? And you can't orbit a person, stupid, they don't have enough mass." Biting his lip. Steve pulled back and kissed Tony's forehead again, getting to his feet. "I love you, idiot." He muttered as he left, wondering if the genius was going to remember every bit of their conversation, no their confessions, when he woke. He didn't know what he was hoping for if he was honest. 

Morning came with an unholy amount of anxiety. Still, he started cooking some blueberry pancakes in the hope of drawing Tony out of his room. Like luring a particularly elusive animal. It worked, meaning that a few minutes later the genius poked his head around the door, dressed in some sweatpants that hung low on him and showed off the blades of his hipbones and a band shirt. It looked stupidly good on him. "Morning, Capsicle." Feeling simultaneously relieved and disappointed, Steve grinned and placed a plate of pancakes on the table. "Pancakes, Shellhead?"  
"Lifesaver." The man was a world champion with dealing with hangovers (practice makes perfect, Steve thought bitterly), so he started on the pancakes with a respectable appetite. "Thank you, Steve."

Drawing up a deep breath, the super soldier summed up all of his bravery and turned to face his friend. "Do you remember last night?" He asked evenly. A million expressions flickered over the smaller man's face before he settled on an approach, flashing Steve a hollow grin. "Busted." He laughed, "I'm a bad drunk, what can I say? Thanks for cleaning me up, though, Mom." 

Ignoring the jokes, Steve persevered bravely, even when he could feel his heart breaking in his chest. "Did you mean it?" He demanded, eyes hopeful and desperate. The love of his life faltered, clearly shocked, before he started bullshitting. "Well, you know, I was intoxicated and I really shouldn't be held accountable for anything I might've said and --"

Steve may have accidentally cut him off by yelling, "I'm in love with you Tony! Just tell me if I can kiss you!"

There was dead silence in the kitchen for a heart-stopping five seconds before it seemed like Tony's systems came back online all at once and he practically leapt over the table to drag Steve into a bruising kiss which he happily returned, bracketing the brunette against the kitchen counter and ravishing him with his mouth. "God, Tony..." He moaned.  
"You'll probably get over this soon, but we can still fuck right?" Letting out a growl of frustration, Steve whispered, "I am in love with you, Tony. I will always be in love with you, I love you romantically, platonically, unconditionally. Any possible way that you can love a man." It finally seemed to sink in that Steve meant it, even if the Captain knew it would take months of hard work for the sentiment to truly sink in. It didn't matter, he was more than willing to put in the work for the reward. 

A drunken confession wasn't what Steve had imagined, but he was damn well taking it and Tony, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the regular trash, I ADORE comments kudos so please do drop below! :)   
> Also, I'd love to do an A-Z of Stony with one word prompts for each letter? Then do some ficlets and such? Please drop any one word prompts you'd like to see below, you can have some of my soul in return. (Barely used, good condition.)  
> Thanks, guys! L x


End file.
